How To Quit Your Job....

I said I just might have an update...I think this pretty much sums it up:

Dear Liays,

There are many things that I want and need to say to you, but I will start with this: I quit.

I have received a much better offer and I am no longer willing to work for you. I have discussed this with my parents, and they agree: I should take my gap year and be a tourist… learn Italian, paint, travel to other parts in Europe, and enjoy my life. I have told them how terribly unhappy I am in my work situation, and they are happy to support my wishes.

So, I may be willing to finish out the contracts for the month with Claudio and the advanced conversation class (given fair compensation), but the rest I will not teach. I sincerely hope that the American woman from New York will be able to cover.

And since you have made it clear again and again that I am a poor teacher, a boring teacher, a lazy teacher, and a teacher who male students like but you doubt that female students do, then I think this probably won’t be such a loss. You have shown absolutely zero faith in my ability to teach. You have said almost nothing nice about me as a teacher. So, since I am so bad, you will be much better off without me.

Additionally, since you make it painfully obvious that it begrudges you to pay me—your hostility in paying me is as obvious as neon—then I must not be a good investment. In the same breath of saying (happily) “I have many new clients” you say (angrily) “I will pay you 500 euros per month.” You once asked me what it would take me to stay…I said 1000 euros at least. And while I understand that the business is getting started and you cannot pay me this much, an attitude that is, perhaps, more humble and says: I’m sorry I can’t pay you this much yet, I really want to, you have been very patient, thank you, I hope soon.

But, instead, you actually argued with me over 100 Euro. You basically made it clear that you don’t think you should have to pay me at all, really. I am not worth even 400 Euro. So, I am maybe worth 300. And since this month you have promised 500, and this is 200 more than you think I am worth, then I am liberating you from a bad investment. You have already lost two secretaries and now a teacher based on your philosophy of worth. I hope that you find people who ARE worth the money.

Lastly, I want to say this about work: people will work like slaves for three reasons. 1) because they are being paid extremely well. 2) because they are working for a cause they really believe in. 3) because they have a profound respect and admiration for their boss.

When I worked in sales, I didn’t care for the clients, I hated the actual sales, but I looooved the money. I made so much money that nothing else mattered. I worked 12-14 hours per day, 7-days a week, for 16 weeks during the summer because the money was so good.

When I worked for an organization that helped poor women start their own businesses, I worked an incredible schedule, on top of it being my last semester of university, when I was writing a thesis. I worked, FOR FREE, because I believed so much in what the organization did. But I was also regularly thanked by my bosses, and made to feel like I was an important part of the team, and that what I thought and did and said actually mattered and was valuable.

Lastly, when I worked for the Congresswoman, I worked the same insane schedule as sales (100 hours a week all summer) and WITHOUT being paid AT ALL because I was so inspired by her, and my direct boss above me. Both of them worked incredibly hard, but made it clear that they couldn’t do anything without the staff. When things went wrong, they blamed themselves. When things went right, they gave everyone under them credit. I, in turn, did the same with my interns. My job was to translate the Big Picture of getting the message out and fundraising with micro-management of interns. And when we hit goals, I gave my interns the full credit. And when we didn’t reach goals, I took the responsibility and apologized for letting people down. And, to this day, my interns email me, ask me how I am doing, and have promised to follow me anywhere I go, and to any campaign. I was loyal to my bosses because they treated me with a profound respect, and I treated my interns with a profound respect, and they are still loyal to me.

When I told you I am a work-aholic, I wasn’t lying. Based on my past experience, I LOVE to work. I like being too busy. But I learned something about this. I need motivation: from the pay, the cause, or my boss.

I don’t have any of that now, and so I am not willing to work.

But, there is still this issue of friendship. I have said again and again that because I am here as your friend, I am willing to overlook these other things and to help you. But, as I have learned lately, you have done almost nothing that would help a friendship.

In the last few days, some interesting things have come to light about your opinion of me. My roommates have told me what you said. My friends have told me what you said. It is now obvious to me that you have spread incredible rumors about me behind my back. You have told anybody who will listen that I am lazy, dirty, selfish, rude, ungrateful, and generally detestable. You told my roommates before I came these things. You attempted to sabotage my relationship with everybody around me. You couldn’t just talk to me, and let other people make up their own minds. People aren’t stupid, Liays, they can decide for themselves. And my roommates and my friends have made up their own minds. They have decided that you are wrong. Absolutely wrong.

You told me Carmello would probably hate me if I didn’t change. Well, I am the same person that I was at your house. But, in fact, the opposite had proven true. I see him everyday. And he has taken a great liking to me, because he actually pays attention. He sees that I try sooooo hard to be nice to everybody. That I try to be generous with my time, affection, food, and money. He actually notices that I DO clean. And that I don’t say bad things about people.

In fact, even though you were so cruel to me, even though you made me cry, and feel terrible about myself, and even though I hated you, I NEVER said anything bad about you. I didn’t talk about you to my roommates. I didn’t go to couchsurfing parties and talk about what a bastard you were. I kept my mouth shut, because I believe it is incredibly rude, immature, and immoral to talk about someone when they can’t be there to defend themselves. This is what teenagers do—adults should know better. I believe that if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.

And so, I have said NOTHING. And I will continue to extend this courtesy to you. I will not speak badly about you to my roommates, friends, students, or anyone else. I believe people should be free to decide how they feel about someone. And as much as I would hope you would learn to not say terrible things about people, I do not expect it. I don’t think you have the strength to resist the temptation to tell anybody who will listen all the bad things you think about me. But I don’t care. When people realize you are wrong, it makes YOU look bad, not me.

You have hurt me terribly. You have betrayed my trust. You have broken promises. You have acted treacherous. You have been unfair, biased, and sometimes cruel. You have seen only what you wanted to see. You have made it clear that everything you do is right, and everything I do is wrong. You have made it clear that you are the victim, and I am the perpetrator. You have said horrible things about me to other people. You have basically made it clear that I am a disappointment to you. You have made it clear that I represent everything that is not good enough.

I did not… turn down 5 very lucrative job offers and graduate school; give away 90% of my things (clothes, books, furniture, etc.); leave my cat, boyfriend, friends, and family; and move away from the safety and security of my home country….to be insulted, underpaid, and treated like an enemy instead of a friend.

And, so, I have to thank you for all of this. Because I have learned some very valuable lessons. I have learned that I am brave enough to leave everything I know to move half-way around the world to uncertainty, and then not fly home as soon as things go wrong. I have learned that I have enough self-respect to not tolerate someone who behaves arrogantly, chauvinistically, and mean-spirited who belittles me at every opportunity. I have learned that I have the ability to stand up for myself, speak my mind, and then be done. But, most of all, I have learned that I have the ability to forgive.

So I forgive you for all the hurt, the tears, the approximately $5,300 I have spent in coming and staying here to help you, the sleepless nights, and the time spent trying to make you happy for nothing. I forgive you for being you.

I hope you have the same generosity of spirit. Because being magnanimous is one of the best characteristics a person can have.

See you around,
Laurel